Words by Orlaith Nic Aidhne, she/her

We’ve all heard that the key to a good life is doing what you love. But on the flip side,we also know that it is very possible to have too much of a good thing. We’re supposed to have good balance as aerialists (ba dum, tisch!) but how are we organising life away from the studio? Here, I recount my own experiences of putting aerial classes before other aspects in life and what I did to try and sort it out.

Author’s note:  I do want to acknowledge that I do come from a privileged life where I can have a full-time job that lets me pay for classes at my leisure. For others, money is very much a barrier which prevents them from training as much as they wish and therefore much of this discussion may not be as applicable. And as well as that, I’ll be writing about this topic as though we’re all well and truly through the pandemic as the constant stop / start of training is a whole other topic to discuss.

When you started taking aerial classes, what kept you coming back? There’s a multitude of reasons  - that rush of energy, the feelings of confidence you get when you pull off new tricks. The sheer joy of movement and dance, with your favourite song playing in the background or classmates hyping you up when you’re in the zone. It’s keeping your body happy and healthy, gaining confidence, exercising to help your mental health and destress after the days from hell, escaping from the ordinary and feeling extraordinary. The bonus of getting dressed up for class and catching yourself in the mirror looking like a fine thing, is an infectious feeling. 

I am no exception. When I first started Lyra and Pole in 2018, I had a full-time job which opened the proverbial doors. I was hooked from my first double knee hang. But this discussion isn’t about the love for the activity, it’s looking at when I struggled to stop and take a break - to find a healthy balance between this infectious past-time and social schedules, love, work and even my personal finances.

Aerial classes brought me an excitement I hadn’t felt for years.

I used to do modern jazz and ballet dance in my teens and had to give them up for university, even though I knew moving my body was so important in maintaining my mental health. These brought such an intense happiness and excitement that I had trouble sleeping for a while after classes, I was just so wired over them. Aerial completely overruled negative aspects in my life, such as working a job I was deeply unhappy in and some days, felt I had no direction in life. I was using aerial as a coping mechanism and I want to be clear -  there’s nothing wrong with doing so, in addition to other beneficial activities, habits and personal organisation. 

Essentially, not neglecting other important factors in life to squeeze in another class. In my life, it got to the point where I was prioritising paying for classes and the latest drops from aerial brands, over paying bills and savings. Time spent with my partner was switched for the hour-long commute to open training and I didn’t even notice they were starting to find it upsetting, because I assumed if I was happy from it, so were they. Social media unsurprisingly would stir the pot and get me panicking, watching others post videos from their classes that night and learning tricks I’d never done before.

I had a bad case of tunnel vision and I know I’m not alone in experiencing that.

I put the topic of finding balance between being an aerialist (majority being hobbyists, a few being instructors). Some recurring aspects came up as a result of prioritising aerial over other aspects of their lives, ranging from choosing classes over meeting up with friends, feeling guilty for not being able to afford another class in their studio or taking time away from classes for personal appointments / rest days or struggling to find time to train for competitions in addition to usual classes and other commitments. Cost overall was another factor that would “enforce” balance - from class expenses, commuting to and from the studio and the cost of suitable Pole or Lyra clothing that was comfortable and would last. Hearing others say these things was comforting in that you don’t feel as ridiculous or alone in your struggle to manage everything going on and acknowledging the fact that yes, it is expensive to take aerial classes and sometimes you don’t notice quite how much you’re spending until someone points it out to you. 

Maybe it’s hard for us to step back from aerial because it gives us such control and happiness, and doing so could seem overwhelming. Or if you were in the same headspace as I came to be where you felt dropping a class in favour of something else made you seem unmotivated. That couldn’t be further from the truth, for any of us. We are all human and we all get where we need to be - whether you’re looking into becoming an aerial performer, an instructor, or just enjoying yourself flying around the place!

Time away from the studio can be hard to create at first, but it’s so important to do so for so many reasons. 

For me, it began with acceptance. Acceptance that even though I was so determined to learn quickly and build up my skills, I didn’t need to spend every waking hour in the studio. I would still progress at my own pace through my weekly classes and maybe some open training once in a while. Missing a class wouldn’t mean I was a bad student or disloyal to the studio, it meant I wasn’t well enough to go or had another important commitment. Patience was another aspect that I’d overlooked in my tunnel vision, eagerness to train as much as possible so I could master tricks and move on to the next. My frustration over not being good at something right away, fed into my mindset of having to be training or working out 24/7 - impractical and so not healthy. Aerials are physically demanding and mentally challenging; the more I tried, the more stress I felt, the less I loved it all. I’d go home feeling down on myself and without taking a break, I’d try and get back to the studio as soon as possible to see what could change. While practice and persistence is key, I wasn’t doing it in a healthy way and once I really realised that and started putting things into perspective - looking at what else I was doing in life, what I was physically and financially capable of doing - it suddenly felt less overwhelming and less like the world would end if I stepped back.

I made peace with that. 

Leading on from the above, I looked at my goals for aerial and made sure they were realistic for me, setting my expectations into something I could definitely achieve. Chances were I wasn’t going to be able to do any split tricks in the near future, but how about cleaning up combos and making sure I was comfortable with them? I focused on what I could do and what I liked to do, so no matter what else I tried, I could still leave the studio feeling accomplished. It wasn’t about the constant “new” aspect, it was watching videos back and seeing how good something looked compared to last week. 

I tried to come to open training sessions with an idea of what I wanted to do, so I wouldn’t spend too much time faffing around (not that there’s anything wrong with a good training faff. Faffing in training can create the best things). If it was a regular class, I’d try and set my expectations aside because I was in a controlled environment with an instructor who’d not only set us new tasks, but correct us on older transitions and shapes - building myself back up and becoming stronger and more technical each time, feeling more confident and more “Hey, look at me go! I got this! I look so good!”. 

Knowing your schedule inside out and being really organised on paper can help put your time into a physical perspective as well. If your plans for the week make you feel overwhelmed and stressed - you’ve got that private class there, you promised a friend you’d drop in to this one, you’ve got your own personal commitments outside of the studio - then change something up! Don’t burn out and start running what you love into the ground.

Be realistic with your time and money and most importantly, your energy.

You can’t do what you love if you’re exhausted and you’ll feel all the better for taking physical and mental breaks from training sessions. Plus you may even discover doing so leads to better breakthroughs, as you have a clear head and more energy. 

Depending on your social life as well, marking down definite days for meeting up with significant others, friends or family or even ensuring your finances are in order to plan for future classes or workshops, as well as anything or everything else you want to do… even a lazy rest day. Giving your body a chance to rest leads to lower chance of injury and mentally, taking a break from that one combo you haven’t quite unlocked yet gives your brain time to process. You may not realise that you need a breather until you sit down and realise how nice it is to just lie about and switch off, as opposed to conditioning your hip holds and adding to your bruises. Give yourself time to enjoy life outside and away from aerial - grab a coffee with friends, walks by yourself, whatever works for you!

Because we are always so much more than what we think we are and we deserve a life rich with joy and fun. 

I had some very honest conversations with my partner and friends. I didn’t want to let them down any longer but I also wanted them to see how important aerial was in my life and the positives of keeping it as a hobby, where it could lead to, and what I could do. They got their own feelings and thoughts off their chest and made sure that I also saw it from their perspective. They were happy I’d found something I was so passionate about but worried about the long-term effects on our relationships and my poor bank balance that stopped us from having our own adventures together. I really hope that for those reading this, it hasn’t gotten to this stage for you at all. But having mutual understanding and checking in with significant others in your life frequently is a really lovely thing to do anyway and I recommend it on a general level. 

And hey - keeping yourself happy and healthy is a full time gig and whatever you’re doing, you should feel proud of yourself.

Sometimes we all lose the run of ourselves a little and it’s an ongoing life lesson to recognise that and pull yourself back. Do what you love, see who you love, eat what you love - all that good stuff.  If anything here in this writing  has struck a chord with you, then I wish you all the luck in having a re-jig and working out a more sustainable plan. And if you’re someone who has it all figured out already… what’s your secret?