Words by Nikki Rose | Photographs by JB Creative

Self-love is something we really need right now, in these strange and uncertain times. It’s something we always need, but definitely now more than ever we’re spending most of our time isolated with our own thoughts and our schedules and relationships have turned upside down. Our lives have changed drastically as a collective, and it can be easy to become lost and overwhelmed by what’s going on both externally and internally. That’s why it’s so important to become grounded and in touch with our core self, to make sure that with these changes going on around us, we are changing with them by dispelling that which does not serve us, instead inviting in positive and loving energy that will be here to stay. This week, our Siren of the House Nikki Rose gives us 5 ways to make self-love become a part of your daily life so the idea of self-love, presence and acceptance becomes embedded in your DNA. 

Meditation

 This may seem like a pretty typical first point for this kinda list. But it rightly deserves its place at the top! Meditation has proven to be extremely beneficial for clarity of mind, relaxation and an increased sense of presence.

If you don’t already have a meditation routine that you resonate with, then here are a few tips to start introducing the ritual of meditation into your life:

Find a window of time during your day when you know you won’t be interrupted. Designate a comfortable spot for you to sit, whether it be a chair, mattress or on the floor, and set a timer for 3 minutes (you can increase this time as you get more used to meditating).

Once you’re sitting comfortably and you’ve set your timer, find a focus point. You can choose a focus point before you start meditating, otherwise when you start your session, pick the first thing you notice. Is it the sounds coming from outside? Is it the tingling in your feet? The thoughts running through your mind? Your breathing?

Once something has stood out to you, simply focus on it. Notice it and how it makes you feel. Be as objective as you can; don’t worry about analysing it (ie. That noise is too loud, I’m breathing way too fast), just notice it. If your thoughts run away for a bit, that’s normal! Notice when this happens and bring your focus back.

Breathing

 It’s so simple, so automatic we often don’t think about it. But beauty is in simplicity! Breathing is an inbuilt bodily function that gets that much needed oxygen flowing through our body and mind, helping to ground us.

Incorporating conscious breathing into our daily lives is a great way to align with our core and stay present.

Choose something that happens a few times a day, such as looking at your phone, every time you eat/drink, as you get in your car etc.

Take a moment before you do this to stay still and take three deep breaths. Take as long as you need to make sure each breath is full and finished. There’s no need to rush.

Sitting in front of the mirror 

 It’s so common to have not-so-positive images of ourselves in our head, or an ideal of what we want and are disappointed because our bodies don’t align with it. Our image and appearance hold such a central part of how we view each other, and it continually gets emphasised and embedded in society.

The following exercise sees us beginning to move away from these constructs, observing our physical bodies with no judgement, however difficult and confronting that can be. It is also a chance for us to notice what we do have and the beauty that is already there, helping us to come to a place of acceptance and peace.  

Sit in front of the mirror when you know you have some time to yourself that won’t be rushed (again, you can set a timer for 5-10-15 minutes or more if you like).

Look at yourself. Notice the different parts of your body. Notice the colour/s in your hair, the colour/s on your skin. Notice the contours of your body, of your posture. What aspects stand out to you? Do they trigger positive feelings? Negative feelings? Neutral feelings? Don’t judge yourself for however you feel; just notice. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t like what you see. Don’t feel guilty if you do like what you see. Just notice the feelings and thoughts that arise.

If you’d like to mix up this form of meditation, you can close your eyes and use your hands to see instead. You could also do this in the nude.

Saying/writing mantras

 Mantras are words or phrases that you repeat almost ritually. These can take so many different forms. They can be anything from song lyrics, quotes from a movie/book/influential person or something you saw on Instagram.

You can also write your own, something that comes from a place of truth and really resonates with you. That way they don’t just sound like encouraging sounding phrases (#livelaughlove). 

Choose a mantra or phrase that you like and can remember easily. Then choose an action or ritual you do multiple times a day (such as when you check your phone, every time you go to the kitchen or whenever you can remember). Take a moment before or after you do this action and repeat the mantra to yourself.

You can say them out loud or in your head. The number of times is up to you as well, whether it’s once, three times in a row or something else. As long as it’s consistent. Some examples/starting points are: 

“I’m right where I need to be”, “I am enough,” and “I’m creating the best life for myself in every moment”.

Brain-dump journaling

 Ok, I know a secret shame of yours; you have that one Typo journal sitting in your drawer that you filled out every day for two weeks, but after that you couldn’t consistently keep up that level of writing so you put it aside for when you had “time”. I’m completely guilty of this, I have so many half-finished journals with 8-page entries before I was mysteriously abducted by aliens for 7 months then started a kikki.k journal instead.

The reason I have so many failed journaling experiences is because I held them to a high standard, something that would be visually stunning and grammatically coherent, a thing I could look back on with pride. While I still love keeping a journal that is special and will eventually become a keepsake, this particular method and allows our brain to literally word vomit, and is a tool to communicate deeply with our subconscious.  

Designate a journal and pen to use just for brain-dumping. It doesn’t have to be fancy at all, a little notebook or exercise book does the job.

Much like dreams, these journal entries don’t have to make coherent sense. You can literally write the word “queen” over and over again for a page, or write sentences with no spaces so it all looks like one word. Let your subconscious take over, see how flexible and abstract your mind can be!

Once you’re done you can feel free to read it back to yourself, or never look at it again, it’s up to you! The focus here is the process of feeling present while you fill the pages, and not the final piece of writing you’re left with. 

All of these exercises are ways we can see and accept the present moment with feelings of positivity, creativity and well-being. Consistency is the glue behind them. They work really effectively if you keep at them until they become instinctual. Don’t kick yourself if you miss a day or so though. The only goal with all of these is to feel better about yourself, and if you do then it's a job well done.